The following 5 characteristics are viewed as being valuable to people seeking charismatic influence in personal lives and in their professional pursuits.
It is this combination that sends a powerful projection presence message to others.
If one continually learns and practices these principles others may respond by being captivated and compelled to follow your direction.
1. Authenticity: Being Congruent
One might decide in different points of their lives how they want others to perceive them.
Most people would want other people to see them as an authentic person . Someone who is comfortable in their own skin. It would be hard to imagine one preferring to be seen as inauthentic.
Some of the factors that must be considered are as follows. First, it seems like a given that you feel you are already an authentic person.
But how well do you know yourself. Have you examined your childhood? Do you know why you make certain choices? How do you feel about yourself in the present moment?
We must begin to self recognize ourselves for the individual uniqueness we posses.
So, part of this process is to self actualize . This means exhibiting your maximum potential.
Another important point when concerning the truth about ourselves is, sometimes we suffer from a fight or flee mentality .
People who are authentic do not feel the need to escape from themselves and they are comfortable being who they truly are.
The way to inspire yourself and influence others is to realize that you are a masterpiece of own creation.
According to an article in Life Hacker, ‘How to Discover Yourself And Live An Authentic Life ‘ writer Thorin Klosowski, says one of the first steps is to “Explore your biography” .
Think about your childhood . Were you popular or unpopular. Extroverted or introverted. What is your family background.
People who are inauthentic suffer from one of the biggest obstacles, the belief that they do not deserve to be recognized.
Confidence in yourself means to ‘Take action in the Real world’ and believe you deserve same things as others.
Ask yourself. Are you working a dream job or just going through the motions at a dead end one. One simple way to get back to your core is to redefine your goals.
Create a personal manifesto. Write down everything about yourself. What are you passionate about ? What are your strengths and weaknesses?
Train yourself to think critically about who you really are.
One of the best ways to explain authenticity is through the aforementioned word Congruent. In other words, knowing when your life is in balance and harmony.
Same on the outside as on the inside . It is in striking that healthy balance that you should ask yourself ‘Are you the same at work as at home? Are you playing a part at work that you don't like?’
Remember, to become your most authentic self we must recognize this is an individual mission. This is the first step to become fully self aware.
It also takes an awareness of others and a willingness to understand, how do they perceive you, that will elevate your understanding of yourself to reach maximum influential impact.
People are seen as authentic if they speak up and are assertive in the world. Practicing this will help you gain confidence.
Always be willing to reexamine the road needed to achieve these sometimes changed goals. Understand who you are and who you want to be. Spend time also knowing your values .
Some simple exercises according to Life Hacker “is to Choose 10 words that inspire you. What are your favorite activities and what goals can you set . What's important to you and in what order, write everything down: family, friends career, hobbies, fun recreation and personal growth.”
2. Integrity: Moral and Ethical code
Integrity is different than authenticity because people live by a certain ethical framework and not only just a general self awareness understanding.
Integrity is guided by our belief system. Think of how you vote and the issues that are important to you.
People with integrity live within their own set of rules.
This too is an individual process. Two people of opposite views can be seen as both having integrity, because it is the guidelines that define themselves and will be seen as admirable to many, even when it is unpopular to hold those beliefs.
Integrity is something you usually don’t say about yourself. Others have to perceive you of having this trait.
There are certain attributes people must view you as possessing, before they will see you as someone of utmost integrity.
In the article, “Importance of Honesty and Integrity In Business,” some factors that people consider a person of integrity are things like ‘They never compromise by cheating. They Always Keep their promises. Do the right thing because it's the right thing to do.’
Also, it is important to be consistent and mean what you say and say what you mean.
People with integrity are also consistent in their transactions with others.
But remember, if you have integrity you will face adversity. Your views will be tested. Believe what you believe in whether it's popular or unpopular.
Remember, doing the right thing doesn't mean there won't be repercussions.
Truth doesn't change even when you are being threatened.
People with integrity stand firm. You will project those values and others will recognize and respect you accordingly.
3. Listening Skills: Building Empathy
First, it is important to understand the difference between sympathy and empathy.
The difference between the two is sympathy is the feeling of compassion, sorrow or pity for the hardship of another person’s encounters.
Whereas, the definition of empathy is to feel what others are feeling and in a sense be in their shoes.
You might say it is seeing with the eyes of another and listening with the ears of another.
The reason why it is important to talk about empathetic listening is that it is the highest form.
Empathy types are talked about in the same context as listening skills.
Let’s go over different types of emotional listening according to an article in Teleos Leadership Institue by writer Chris Allen Thomas. There are three types ‘Cognitive, Emotional and Empathetic ’.
To be influential when dealing with others, emotional cognitive listening skills are essential.
For example, bartenders are good at listening to others concerns. This is especially true when a bartender is able to empathize with a customer.
Cognitive empathy is the ability of your brain to understand the other person is in pain but may not go beyond that.
It is important that we recognize the hurt people feel. A step beyond that is emotional.
Emotional empathy is the unconscious automatic drive to respond to another person's emotion in a state where they feel the other’s pain.
Compassionate empathy is putting the feeling of someone's pain before taking action. Maybe physically helping someone. Lifting them up and carrying them over your shoulder when they are hurt and weeping.
Remember, empathy is so important in influencing others . It is a powerful level of two way communication.
To conclude, listening is important on the surface level.
But to be able to create the biggest impact is in the ability to emotionally connect with others based on listening to their situation including their worries and other difficult circumstances.
4. Passion: Enthusiasm to the Nth Degree
Enthusiasm can mean a general term to define something you feel good about doing. Passion is the extreme form. It is likely that you are enthusiastic about more things than passionate.
Basic enthusiasm can motivate others to join your cause.
One way to show enthusiasm is to create positive personal impact in everything you do.
When enthusiasm becomes passion, it is important to follow your bliss. Spend more time with things you are really interested in. Make your passion a priority.
Write down a list and think of things you want to attain. This is where passion comes into play.
On another note , there are those who complain about everything going wrong. Time to focus on the positive.
‘Daring To Live Fully’ website article ‘14 Ways to Harness the Power of Enthusiasm’ the writer says ‘Get out of victim mode’ . Whatever happened in the past get over all of it. Today can be a new start.
One simple way, gravitate towards places that appreciate the same things.
If you are an artist visit a gallery. If you are a musician visit that cool coffee shop that has the open mic night. Nowadays there are plenty of ways to connect. Get curious who owns that place. What do they do there ?
Again, spend more attention and more time towards things that drive you. Let your passion ride shotgun and put that job where you just go through the motions in the backseat.
Examine what you really want to do with your life. If you still struggle finding your passion try this.
Simply, write down everything that you think you like to do every day. Then begin to cross things off the list if you could not do these things ten hours a day.
You will see only a few things left. You might want to consider focusing on what is left.
Have a plan and think of the things you want to attain. Surround yourself with good people who will encourage you to keep going.
Ask questions about those things that make you curious and develop the right attitude. Say to yourself: I can accomplish this. It is more possible than impossible. This will work out.
Again, give it undivided attention and make priority. Apply your strengths and begin.
5. Mindfulness: Situational Awareness
One must understand that influential people are deliberate about their awareness. In other words, understanding your surroundings makes connections with others stronger . It also leads to improved performance and better decision making.
When you are in the moment, listen to people you are focusing on entirely and what they are saying.
Not distracted by the party you are going to tomorrow. Not by that cell phone call or text. Being in the here and now always having an open framed mind.
There are many other considerations including your initial perception of a current circumstance. This can often be an incorrect interpretation based on our inert biases.
There is another more helpful way to approach it if you are willing to be mindful. Of course meditation, breathing and prayer exercises can put you in the moment. Being in the present tense also forces you out of your own self imposed limits.
Another phrase that is used to explain mindfulness is called situational awareness. This means being aware at all times of your immediate surroundings. Notice what is going on around you in your immediate area. Where are the behavior clusters. Clusters are people gathered together doing certain things.
Sometimes they teach this in self defense class for women walking home late at night. Also, police officers and emergency personnel are often trained to be aware of every single thing happening around them.
As far as yourself, being present helps you understand what those around you are dealing with in the here and now.
Here is another question you can ask yourself if you struggle with mindfulness. In the interview titled, “Ellen Langer on the Value of Mindfulness in Business”, Langer discusses ‘Who controls the context’?
The simple answer is no one does. But you can decipher the relatedness of it to your immediate situation.
Remember, you are a master of your own fate and can choose self awareness to help you overcome any difficult situation. This article appearing in Strategy + Business further recounts “Even in a context dependent world’ we can make choices and decide the relevance.
Change the way you view your circumstances. Look at things differently especially from a different person’s perspective.
Furthermore, people need to understand that failure is not permanent. Learning from mistakes can make a venture more successful.
Langer says, “Recognize and recontexualize” failures in the moment, understand them as not inevitable. Also everyone should take a critical look at the absolutes that are around. And realize that absolutes can change in any given situation.
Take a thought and examine it from a different perspective. Despite past experiences and prejudices, rethinking a current situation can help change your perception of dealing with others.
Being mindful means that maybe it is time to realize you were incorrect and adjust accordingly.
These five factors: authenticity, integrity, enthusiasm, empathy and mindfulness are a powerful influential combination.
This is just a beginning introduction to these concepts.
Spend time reading other articles or books about these specific 5 subjects.
If you continually project these concepts, you will increase your chances for maximum impact in personal relationships and business transactions as well.
About the author
Edgar Rider has published educational posts for Teach Magazine, Artist Unleashed and Modern Times Magazine. He has also written about social media for Grow Map and Duct Tape Marketing. @RiderEdgar
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